Monday, July 12, 2010

Cake smashing and the rule of tenfold

If you are married, getting married, or have ever attended a wedding you are probably familiar with this practice. For the uninitiated, it goes like this; bride and groom cut the first piece of cake and instead of simply feeding it to each other, they smash it in each other's faces. Often this practice is discussed ahead of time and the bride and groom decide if they will be gingerly feeding each other or introducing their new spouse to the business end of a handful of buttercream.

As long as they both know what to expect, it's all good. Plenty of people look forward to smashing cake in the grill of their new spouse as much as anything else on their wedding day. However, a complication can occur if it has been predetermined that no smashing will take place and then, in the heat of the moment one of them breaks the vow and smashes anyway. Most grooms don't want any part of the surprise smashing because they know if they get cake on that dress, things could go pear shaped pretty quickly for them. But when the bride is the one that stages the ambush, a little known genetic defect in every man could rear it's ugly head. Guys, you know what I'm talking about... The rule of tenfold!

Not familiar with the rule of tenfold ladies? You may not know it by name, but surely you have seen it in action at least once. Ever been hanging out by the pool when Dude A splashes a little water on Dude B and almost instantly Dude A finds himself in the pool with all of his clothes on, iPhone in pocket? Classic rule of tenfold example. The guys rule of tenfold simply states that anything someone does to you, you must immediately do back to them with 10x the intensity. The rule is like Fight Club in the sense that we don't talk about it, but I assure you it exists and it generally comes forward like a reflex, with no thought at all.

As you might expect, when an unsuspecting guy gets a face full of cake, he may involuntarily head down an ugly road, one that is gong to leave your dress covered in red velvet cake and his buddies cheering him on like he's playing in the Super Bowl.

So ladies... but be careful out there. It's OK to smash but I suggest you provide as much warning as possible to minimize any potential dress damage.

A word to the fellas:

If you have an agreement in place to refrain from smashing, prepare yourself for the possibility that your new bride could break the treaty...and if she does, let it slide brother, let it slide. Dab a little frosting on her nose with a smile and let it go man. I promise you will be glad you did!